"My Life is Falling Apart."

Happy Sunday! Glad to see you back with me again and if it's your first time coming in, I just want to say thank you for stopping by! I was thinking lately that we reserve Sundays for faith posts. After all, I'm trying to walk this journey and I'm learning a lot by the week. So I figure we can convene and discuss how the Word applies in our lives as young twenty somethings living in the world- and of course, all are welcome! If I haven't said it before, my purpose is to deconstruct the narratives fed to us from within and outside of the faith by getting down to the basics. I want to speak for church hurt, to mend the broken hearted, change a perspective, enlighten the lost, plant those seeds, and spread the Gospel; true to who God is, has been, and will continue to be, independent of what people have said or done to hurt or scrutinize you. Because you can read the bible cover to cover and still not know Him if you don't have love. And here on this site, I hope you're inspired to tap in to that love. In reference to my first post, I believe that I went through all that I went through because of the traits God knew I would gain from it. I gained such a deep level of patience, empathy, communication, and compassion as a result, because I truly know what it feels like to not have been "perfect", "chosen", or "saved" all your life. To be the sheep He chased after while leaving the 99. I speak to and for those people.

Okay so rant over. Today I want to speak on the shackle that is anxiety and depression. Sneaky in nature, overwhelming in reality, and insurmountable in theory.

This life comes with a lot of stressors, wouldn't you agree? Trouble left, right, and center! Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines! Residual trauma, people asking you to wear an ever increasing amount of hats, having people who depend on you, financial security; and hell, let's throw in a pandemic and social isolation for good measure why don't we.

It's very easy to get caught up in this whirlwind that we call life; wondering where our next "thing" will be coming from, and when. "When will/why won't God answer me?", "How can I make this possible when it's so impossible?", "When will I finally get this job?", "Why haven't I been recognized for my efforts?" The list goes on and on. As humans, sitting in the unknown can induce an insurmountable level of anxiety, a burden that keeps you up all night, worrying, pacing, and wondering.

Maybe you realized that you've been a little under the weather lately. You may have tried to confide in someone before...and it's very possible that you were not met with the answer you would have liked. There has been a stigma to mental health that has ostracized those who fall anywhere to the spectrum of it. From just admitting that you've been a little overwhelmed, to feeling crippled, drowning daily. And because the church is full of broken people looking for a healer, it's no surprise that this unhelpful and broken perspective would find its way into the church as well.

I want to share a few of what collectively constitutes that broken perspective, to make it easier for us to point out when we see it within ourselves, or in our community.

• "That is not of God. Just pray it away."

• "You must not be truly saved if you're struggling with this."

• "You don't need therapy, you need Jesus."

• "Maybe this is a punishment for the sin you've done. You need to repent."

• "You have a lack of faith and you're undisciplined."

• "It's because you don't know God, that's why everything in your life is going wrong."

Be so forreal. PLEASE. Actually be so forreal. Why are we trivializing people for seeking therapy?! Why are we telling them they remain sinners for acknowledging their own pain and discomfort?! Jesus never said that just because He's with us means we won't go through trials and tribulations! Because that is a trial and tribulation my friend! Depression kills and steals your joy! Anxiety alters your sense of reality, making you worry about multiple of them, all the possibilities. But you know what? He never said we would have to walk it alone. These unfortunate things are the result of a corrupted world, apart from the Lord. Sickness, disease, famine, it's all connected. Of course it's medical in nature, but I believe the way it afflicts us is exactly how cancer and terminal diseases afflicts us. It freaking hurts. And just because we are with the Lord, doesn't mean that our affliction disappears, it just means that we won't be crushed by the weight of our sorrows. Let's stop invalidating people, Christian or not. That is not how we reflect God's love at awl!

So it comes a time when we have to block out what people say about us, and pay attention to what God says about us. And what does God say about us and anxiety? Well He says a few things! Starting with Matthew 6:25-34 ESV, it is written,

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

This 10 versed section on anxiety works to remind us of the love the Lord has for us because he sees so much value in us. He reminds us that if he can provide support for a bird day by

day, and clothe a field of lilies with beauty and splendor, he will do even more for us.

He knows our needs and our wants. He sees you. The Lord tells us to seek Him first and in that the Lord will provide for you what you need and will even add to that. Focus on your relationship with Him raw and in honesty. Worrying today will not make your issue any better or worse. All it does is weigh on your shoulders, creating mental anguish and inner chaos. It will not add to your life a day, a minute, or an hour.

In Isaiah 41:10 ESV, it is written,

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

In Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV, it is written,

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

In Jeremiah 29:11 ESV, it is written (and so famously quoted),

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

In Isaiah 40: 28-31 ESV, it is written,

"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

There is so much more written within His word to aid you when the your world is feeling a little shaky. Depression and anxiety creep up on us in such a way that, for some of you, by the time you realize it, you're in so deep. And it's hard to pull yourself out, you feel like you're drowning, that no one can see it, and that no one will come to save you. These dangerous feelings, if left unattended to, can begin as a light drizzle of rain, later amounting to a biblical sized tsunami, wrecking havoc on your life and your loved ones' lives... permanently and forever.

I see you. And if it's not you, it's likely that you may know someone already standing in the rain. It's up to you and I to intercede for those saddled in the pouring weather.

I want to tell you that there is hope on the other side. Brenda Palmer, a speaker I follow very closely, has said, "If you're not dead, that means God is not done with you yet." I want to also add that even in death, He overcame and conquered it. And I want you to believe that. You are not your anxiety, you are not your depression. I know, sometimes, when it rains, it pours. But if you look at the beautiful parts of our world today, you would have never known that a flood ravaged the Earth for 40 days and 40 nights oh so long ago. So lay down your worries and concerns at His feet, and live for today. It's easier said than done of course, but understand that this is a journey- a process. I'd rather leave my concerns to Him, and trust that He will do it again for me, than to do it all on my own. Because He did it for me before. Many times. So He will do it for you too.

Love,

Lian

If you are in need of mental help resources, be sure to look through the list.